What happened to all my big plans?

I woke up today in Boston. My alarm was annoying and my hand was on fire. I knew right away I would not be playing the subway today. So I spent my morning in a place between slumber and thought. There were all these voices growling at me like wild animals and I had this paranoid feeling that someone was coming to get me out of this coma like state I was in. It was very much like a hallucinogenic trip. When I came down from it I felt terrible. I can’t figure out what I am doing here and I can’t stop feeling this anxiety. It’s the hustle and bustle that some people need and live for. It gives them something to fight for and feel a part of. To me it is just distracting and disgusting. I miss Austin and I’m trying to think of ways to get back there as soon as possible. I have also learned that I can’t live in New York it is too overwhelming and chaotic which I thought I would love but it makes me feel ill. I can only take it in small doses in which case I feel inspired, true, and alive. I could perhaps live in Burlington. I feel at ease and liberated from my ego when I’m there. But I still miss Austin most of all. The question still lies, when do I leave Boston? Sooner or later?