It's been a while...

I moved back to Austin about a month ago. I guess I ran away from Boston way sooner than I thought I would. Once I decided that I was going to eventually move back to Austin that turned into me thinking why not sooner than later. So here I am, completely content with my life. So thankful for my friends in Boston and all their support but Austin feels like home. Its been a while since I felt at home somewhere but here it is. I love it so so much.

I woke up yesterday in a bed in Houston to some heavy snow fall outside. Five minutes after awaking my host was handing me a bottle of bourbon and I began my day taking warm nips of that smokey brown medicine. I was getting a buzz by 2 and thankfully stopped indulging by then. Bryan and Amber are very gracious hosts and not hesitant with their offerings of food and drink. By the evening I had my act together and made the trek back to Austin with Raina while listening to some necessary Ryan Adams, Wilco, and Cory Branan. I then went on to play a very fun show with the Electric Mountain Rotten Apple gang, enjoyed the company of Mike and Dawn, and finished the night off with a very drunken late night jam with Bluegrass Dave, D Mo, and Grace. I am so very happy to be HOME.

What happened to all my big plans?

I woke up today in Boston. My alarm was annoying and my hand was on fire. I knew right away I would not be playing the subway today. So I spent my morning in a place between slumber and thought. There were all these voices growling at me like wild animals and I had this paranoid feeling that someone was coming to get me out of this coma like state I was in. It was very much like a hallucinogenic trip. When I came down from it I felt terrible. I can’t figure out what I am doing here and I can’t stop feeling this anxiety. It’s the hustle and bustle that some people need and live for. It gives them something to fight for and feel a part of. To me it is just distracting and disgusting. I miss Austin and I’m trying to think of ways to get back there as soon as possible. I have also learned that I can’t live in New York it is too overwhelming and chaotic which I thought I would love but it makes me feel ill. I can only take it in small doses in which case I feel inspired, true, and alive. I could perhaps live in Burlington. I feel at ease and liberated from my ego when I’m there. But I still miss Austin most of all. The question still lies, when do I leave Boston? Sooner or later?

Something strange is brewing inside me.

I woke up with a splash of sunlight on my face. The curtains were wide open serving as a better alarm than my cell phone. It was 9:24 AM five minutes before my phone was scheduled to blink and beep me into a startled confused morning. I had a text message from Pickles sent at 1 in the morning which must have been right after I fell asleep. He wanted me to call him and have a rehearsal. So all morning while I made a breakfast that consisted of porridge, coffee, and internet which hadn’t been working all week, I contemplated on whether I should go play the subway and not practice with Pickles or not play the subway and not make any money today. However as soon as I read the message I already decided I wasn’t going to play the subway because before I knew it I was sitting drinking coffee and practicing till 1 by myself until I called Pickles to find out that he in fact had to pedi-cab today.

So I spent most of the day practicing and reading “On the Road” by Kerouac in various coffee shops around my house. My ears would perk and my heartbeat would increase and I would sit and think about how much of a coffee addict I am now, ever since I decided not to set a limit for how much coffee is acceptable to consume in 24 hours. I was trying to decide whether it was worth it to spend my twenty dollar tip last night eating a fried haddock sandwich that shouldn’t have been fried with a couple of beers at a bar where they couldn’t even get the Bruin’s game on. After bumming around the whole day enjoying having free time I walked with Tom Bianchi down to the Toad where we had a show playing with Baker Thomas. We stopped for some coffee on the way. The show was rockin' and loud but surprisingly I could still be heard over the drums and electric guitar, though not well. Tom announced that it was my birthday which is what he does every show I play with him. So I got a couple free shots and was feeling pretty high by the end of the night. I walked back to the house with Tom and sat and visited with him till I’m guessing around 4 am. I could tell my roommate had some company with her and I was stoked for her but felt a little lonely at the same time.

I’m now currently sitting listening to The Shepherd’s Dog and drinking coffee. It’s a rainy fall day in Boston and I’m going to play the subway today in hopes to make any money at all. I can’t wait to see Raina next week and spend a whole week with her and Becca Loebe. Hurray! I might even get to see Corry Brannen in Jersey on Tuesday. I think I might try and sell my Punch Brothers ticket and play a show with Raina instead. Wish me luck in the subway today.

You don't even know how to use that thing.

I’ve been plotting new projects with my friend Mally. This video inspired my most recent idea to have a show with contact dancers backed up by a free jazz group.


Weekly Playlist
Steve Earl- Mystery Train, Pt. 2
Bill Evans- Solar
Joe Henderson- Inner Urge
Jonathan Byrd- The Cold & Hungry Night
Brad Mehldau- Monk’s Dream
Bela Fleck- Old Jellico, Puddle Jumper, Dead Man’s Hill
Keith Jarrett- All the Things You Are
Jonathan Byrd- Coyote

excuses and insecurities

Maybe someday I will tell someone I'm in love with them as soon as a feel that way because I won't be afraid of being seen as naive. It will become such a rare feeling to be in love that once I do feel it I will think it is true. And then I'll get married and someday realize that my heart is in pain and I'll leave my lover. Would that be so terrible?

Everyone is willing and able.

Play more.
Think less.
Impressions are not as valuable as inspiration.

I am currently listening to John Coltrane-One Up, One Down.

Customer B221 Defeated

I’m feeling awfully homesick for being homeless. I found myself in Burlington Vermont last week bumming around the coffee shops and parks. Some days were very inspiring either playing styles of music completely unfamiliar to me or spending my days walking in what felt like a painting out at a farmhouse in the country side of VT.
Part of being homeless brings a good deal of free time when you aren’t traveling further on down the road. It gives me time to think about how maybe I would be happier somewhere else. Peaking around the street corner to see what the next avenue has to offer. While in Vermont I was excited to get back home. This time I was referring to Boston as home. Well at least I’m trying to call it home.

But now here I am. Feeling awkward and out of place in the musty city. I’m just a single file ant moving through the veins. Maybe I’m just physically exhausted. Maybe it’s just this day. I’m in a tennis match with the city life. It’s a tough match, and I feel easily defeated. But I’m not ready to quit. It’s only the first match. Tomorrow might go in my favor. Now I know how the Sox must be feeling.

Weekly Playlist
Bruce Springsteen- Darlington County
Steve Earl- Mystery Train, Pt. 2
Anthony Da Costa- I Am Way Too Much
Gregory Alan Isakov- Big Black Car
Greg Brown- Just By Myself
Bela Fleck- Major Honker
Danny Schmidt- Beggars & Mules
John Elliott- Anybody Everybody
Tony Williams- Tomorrow Afternoon
Bruce Springsteen- Born to Run

From Salida CO.

I got to run my feet through the gravel at Orvis Hot Springs today on my way out of Telluride. It was a giant pool of hot spring water set inside an eclectic garden of native Colorado plantlife. Telluride was incredible as usual. David Byrne and Julian Lage were my highlights this year. I also got to see a fair amount of Bela which was awesome. I'm really feeling great at this moment in time. Traveling playing music can be a struggle to remain happy with yourself as an artist. I think a large part of it is that I have not been practicing and feel out of shape on the banjo. I absolutely love playing with Raina and it forces me to really rethink my technique. I try to remain dynamic and solid while not playing too much. Playing with her is definitely a fun creative space to be in but at the same time I'm definitely chomping at the bit to play with some serious bluegrassers. It makes me cerious that certain styles and musicians can just hit peoples hearts in such an emotional way. It becomes an addiction for people to experience the music they love in order to remain sane. At least thats how it is for me. I'm going to have to end this poorley written rant...right...now!

P.S. Punch Brothers nailed it with their tribute to Radiohead.

Day 3 of 3.

I got a wake up call at somewhere between 1 and 1:30. I almost never wake up after noon so this threw me for a loop and left me feeling groggy the entire day. In a frenzy I jumped in the van and we went to some chicken wing place in a strip mall to eat lunch with my good friends and hosts for the two days Brian and Amber. If you aren't in the know the majority of Huston is a strip mall or a car dealership. The restaurant was a trip but fortunately enough they did have veggie burgers. The venue we played at was the Last Concert Cafe and is definitely a diamond in the rough. We've played there a bunch of times and the shows always have potential to be amazing shows. To our disadvantage however it almost always rains whenever we play Huston. This was another one of those nights. After the show Manny quickly threw on his friend hat and started celebrating to our chants of happy birthday. The night ended beautifully by spending quality time with my closest friends. Anyway enough with the sap. I'll conclude this journal entry with a Carl Jung quote I read earlier tonight.

"No one has any obligations to a concept; that is what is so agreeable about conceptuality it promises protection from experience. The Spirit does not dwell in concepts, but in deeds and in facts. Woards butter no parsnips; nevertheless, this futile procedure is repeated ad infinitum." From Memories, Dreams, Reflections by C. G. Jung.

Day 2 of 3.

The day started off with everyone waking up randomly at the exact same time in the hotel room before noon. We loaded up the van and started our trek towards Bryan, Texas. It was a slow start with way to many stops at a Mexican restaurant, Dollar General to get Oreo's and socks, then a gas station. The coffee smelled awful so I opted for some caffeinated high fructose corn syrup fizz drink. Finally we started to make some progress and drove a good three or four hours without stopping. I had never been on highway 77 and 21 in the daylight. It was a pleasant change of scenary from the run down towns and plains near Corpus Christi. There's really nothing like the central Texas hillcountry. Its like a fusion of the hills in North Carolina and the African savannas.
We got to Bryan with plenty of time to hangout and have a couple beers. We enjoyed a round of Guiness with esspresso and raw sugar. The venue we played was the Revolution Cafe which is always a good time. The stage was set up out in the little court yard outside but by the end of the night we were playing acoustic by the bar drinking shots and being merry.
The drive home was out of control. At one point we pulled over to take a pee brake because all of us other than Manny (band manager/van driver) were very wasted by this point. Me and Dave jumped out and landed in a creek were we offered our contribution to the Earth. Then two minutes down the road Jesse (bass) and Pickles (fiddle) both woke up complaining that they too had a to pee. They apparently were passed out and didn't even notice that we had just made a pee stop so Jesse ended up peeing in a bottle then shoving the warm bottle in Pickles face as a means of persuading him to fill the rest of the bottle up. Pickles decided to hold it until we reached out destination.
When we finally arrived at Bryan and Ambers house we walked inside to find a bunch of snacks waiting for us on the counter. Amber really is the hostes with the mostest! The rest of the night consisted of passing a bottle of Evan Williams around and some serious jamming until 5 A.M. I should really go practice now but I will finish this later.

Cheers

Day 1 of 3 on the road.

Green Mountain Grass is back out on the road playing a bunch of shows for the next few weeks. We left Austin yesterday a little after 3. It felt good to be back in the familiar seat I spent so much time in last summer. After picking up Jesse we headed on south on I 35 towards Porkus Chrispy (Corpus Christi). The drive included a good nap and some serious boy talk. We learned a special secret about Pickles (fiddle) and D Mo (Cello) that I am not really at liberty to say. We got to Dr. Rockits with plenty of time to set up and drink a couple of beers. The crowd was into it and the energy was high. By the end of the night Dave (mandolin) earned himself the nickname Jonny Cockring. He also become one of the few honorary Green Mountain Grass attorneys. After the show we went for the ritual of loading out, talking to some Corpus crack heads, and walking down to the orginal Whataburger to eat a victory meal. I'm now sitting in Bryan, Texas about to do a sound check so I shall continue this later.

Cheers.